I am not a good christian.
I talk a good game, and I read all the books, and I try to love others, but too often I don’t live up to what I preach.
I’ve begun a journey. A journey that hopefully will lead me to being more christlike. Some words I’ve learned so far on my journey are postmodern, missional, emergent, desconstruction, among others. Some words that I’m re-learning are love, gentleness, kingdom, and eternal life.
My old christian self was very much devoted to self. How do I stay saved? What do to improve my relationship with God? Or more notably who and what do I need to avoid to better my relationship with God? Now I’m trying to ask the questions What can I do for others today? How can I love like Jesus? How can I live a kingdom life? I try and pray for God to show me what I can do.
But like I said, I haven’t been very good at it. I still say things that are judgemental about certain classes of people. I definitely have a problem not thinking of myself as better than others. I struggle realizing that, despite my love for this country, my full allegiance doesn’t belong to it. My allegiance must be to Christ and his Kingdom solely. That’s a huge struggle.
How do I bring justice? How do I motivate myself to look after others before I look after me, but not drain my resources so that I myself live in need of charity? How can I be involved in the political process in this country and further the kingdom, without making a political party or this country or my ideology become my Lord? How can I be a better new kind of Christian?