This is my first night in my new apartment. I’ll be heading to North Carolina tomorrow and will be gone through the weekend. Then I will spend 4 more days in Memphis and come back here for good.
It kinda freaks me out.
This place that I’m sitting in right now, sans pants due to its taking 4 hours to cool down after the AC had been off for days, is my home. My house in Memphis is no longer my home… at least not in the same way in which its been. This apartment will be the first place that Carrie and I live. We’ll tell our kids about our first apartment, and how the floor was not flat and how the bathroom was barely big enough for one person, how our hippy neighbors downstairs are really awesome people, and on and on with other memories that haven’t been made yet.
I won’t be a Memphian any longer. I guess I haven’t been for quite sometime, though, whenever I come in on I 40 and pass the Memphis Welcome Center (which is on the wrong side of the interstate) I can’t help thinking about all of me that is defined by this place. The geography, the politics, the culture, the architecture… the PEOPLE; as much as I trash talk Memphis, there is a lot I’m going to miss about it. There’s a lot of Me in Memphis (pun intended).
I can’t help thinking that I didn’t do enough to leave a mark on this city. I went to power hour sometimes, did workcamp, I voted, but this city that, despite what I say, has treated me well and raised me well; I haven’t given much back. I regret that.
Anyway, I can always visit, and I’m sure that even as things change, it will still hold a place in my heart.