Love is hard.
I know that probably doesn’t come as a suprise to most of you that are reading this. I’ve recently been faced with a situation that I didn’t, and still don’t really, know how to deal with. The thing is, I’m going to have to accept the outcome, even though I disagree with what’s going on, and even though my feelings have been hurt through the ordeal. I feel like I’m trying to do the right thing, the loving thing, and yet I am the one who feels terrible about it. If I do nothing, I feel irresponsible. If I stand up for what I believe in this situation, it will cause even more harm. Basically, its a lose/lose situation.
So, love tells me that I have to let the decisions be made by those who are going to make them. Even thought I think they’re wrong. Even though my character has been attacked. I have to let things go. So I’m trying. It won’t be today, and it probably won’t be tomorrow, but eventually things will be ok again. For now, I just pray:
God I do not know how to fix this. I guess I can’t really. What I do know is that my heart cannot forgive unless your spirit transforms me. And it may be a while, but I’m confident that you will remove these feelings from my heart. Grant me the spirit of loving others Father.